Understanding the Difference Between Poor Social Skills and Social Anxiety
At Strivesocial, we aim to help people feel at ease in social situations.. A common question we get asked is: What's the difference between poor social skills and social anxiety? Understanding the distinction is critical to offering the proper support.
What Are Poor Social Skills?
Poor social skills refer to a lack of knowledge or ability to interact effectively with others. This might manifest in various ways, such as:
Difficulty starting or maintaining conversations: Some people struggle to know what to say or how to keep a conversation flowing. They might frequently face awkward silences or talk about topics that don't engage the other person.
Misreading social cues: This includes not picking up on body language, tone of voice, or facial expressions. For example, someone might not notice when others are bored or uncomfortable.
Inappropriate behaviour: This could involve saying off-topic or offensive things without realising it or not knowing how to join a group conversation appropriately.
These challenges often stem from a lack of experience or understanding of social norms rather than an emotional barrier. With coaching and practice, individuals can improve their social skills and feel more comfortable in social settings.
What Is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety, on the other hand, is more about the emotional experience than the skill set. It's a condition where a person has an intense fear of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated in social situations. This fear can lead to:
Avoidance of social situations: People with social anxiety might skip parties, avoid speaking in public, or steer clear of any situation where they might feel scrutinised.
Physical symptoms: These can include sweating, trembling, blushing, or even nausea when faced with social interactions.
Excessive worry: Before, during, and after social events, individuals might excessively worry about how they were perceived or if they made a mistake.
While poor social skills can sometimes lead to awkward moments, social anxiety can be debilitating. It's not just about not knowing what to do—it's about feeling a deep-seated fear of doing it wrong, which can lead to intense distress.
Key Differences
Source of the Issue:
Poor Social Skills: Lack of experience or understanding of social norms.
Social Anxiety: Fear of negative evaluation and embarrassment.
Approach to Social Situations:
Poor Social Skills: May approach social situations but struggle with execution.
Social Anxiety: Often avoids social situations due to fear.
Impact:
Poor Social Skills: Can lead to misunderstandings or awkwardness.
Social Anxiety: Can significantly impair daily life and relationships.
Can You Have Both?
Absolutely. Some individuals may struggle with both poor social skills and social anxiety. For instance, someone might not know how to engage in small talk (poor social skills) and simultaneously feel terrified of being judged for not knowing what to say (social anxiety). This combination can create a cycle where fear prevents practice, and lack of practice perpetuates fear.
How Strivesocial Can Help
At Strivesocial, we use the PEERS® program to provide practical, evidence-based strategies for improving social skills and managing social anxiety. Whether you want to refine your conversational abilities, understand social cues better, or build confidence in social settings, our coaching is tailored to your unique needs.
Remember, everyone's journey is different. Whether you're dealing with poor social skills, social anxiety, or both, there's always a path forward. With the proper support and guidance, you can build the skills and confidence you need to thrive in any social situation.
Ready to take the next step? Contact us at Strivesocial and start your journey towards better social skills and a more confident you!
By understanding the difference between poor social skills and social anxiety, you can better recognise what you or someone you know might be experiencing. This awareness is the first step towards growth and empowerment.